


The Proper Reaction (or What To Do When Your Son Brings Home His Boyfriend)

by three_days_late



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Vinsmoke Sanji, Cooking, Family, Fluff, Gen, Language, M/M, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Zosan Secret Santa 2019, everyone here has a potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22049095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/three_days_late/pseuds/three_days_late
Summary: Holidays at the Baratie were always hectic, but it's nothing Zeff can't handle. Sanji's new boyfriend, on the other hand...
Relationships: Aka Ashi no Zeff | Red-Leg Zeff & Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 36
Kudos: 791





	The Proper Reaction (or What To Do When Your Son Brings Home His Boyfriend)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my gift for [junemel](https://junemel.tumblr.com/) on tumblr the ZoSan Secret Santa!
> 
> Her prompt was 'Zoro meeting Zeff/the Baratie staff as Sanji's boyfriend.' I hope you like it!

The holidays at the Baratie were always busy. They were always booked solid with one holiday party or another, not to mention the increased influx of customers that were too exhausted by holiday preparations to bother with making their own food.

It was a hectic time for everyone, but Zeff was a professional. He thrived on the challenge, the stress, the constant deadlines. He and his well-trained, expert staff took each new hurdle with grace and dignity.

“When’s that little shit coming back?” Patty shouted over the general noise of the kitchen as he set the soup he was working on to a simmer and ran off to tend to the chicken in the oven.

But even he had to admit, times like these were when he missed having Sanji around.

“He’ll be here in a few days,” Zeff barked back, “If you can manage to make one decent meal until then.”

Patty grumbled as he pulled the chicken out of the oven and started carving it.

The phone started ringing, a harsh sound over the din in the kitchen, but Zeff was too focused on filleting the fish in front of him to care. One of the bus boys answered it, taking a few moments to talk to whoever it was before bringing it over to Zeff.

“What, I’m busy!” Zeff snarled at him, “Can’t you take one shitty order without –”

“It’s Sanji,” the bus boy said, waving the phone in front of him, “But if you’d rather I tell him to fuck off, I can certainly do that.”

Zeff snatched the phone from his hand and signaled for someone to come over and finish the fish as he took the phone into the office.

“What do you want, Eggplant?” he said as he closed the door behind him, “We’re busy and I can’t stay away from the kitchen for too long.”

“It’s three in the afternoon, you shit geezer,” Sanji drawled on the other end, “The restaurant should be dead at this time, what the fuck are you busy with?”

Zeff smiled at Sanji’s voice. He sounded good, and he’d never admit it to his face, but he did miss the brat, “We’re catering two parties tonight and we’re booked solid with reservations, so if you’re calling to back out of Christmas, make it quick.”

“I’m not calling to back out. I’m calling to, uh,” he paused, and with that hesitation he now had Zeff’s full attention, “I was just, letting you know that I’m, uh, bringing someone.”

“Someone?” Zeff frowned and tapped his finger on the desk, “Like a friend someone?”

Zeff had met a few of Sanji’s little gang of friends. They were a rambunctious bunch, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Well, yeah,” Sanji answered, and he could practically see him blushing and fidgeting on the other end, “But more like a, boyfriend someone.”

“I see.” Zeff had known that Sanji played for both teams for the longest time. Despite his obvious preference for girls, what wasn’t shocking was that he was seeing a boy, it was that he felt strongly enough about this boy to introduce him, “What’s his name?”

“Zoro.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s, uh, Zoro,” Sanji said, like that explained anything at all, “You’ll meet him in a few days. If that’s okay?”

He trailed off at the end, the uncertainty seeping into his voice. And Zeff knew he’d be the worst parent in the world if he denied Sanji this.

“Of course it’s okay,” he scoffed, “but he better be prepared to work. I don’t have time for useless bodies in my kitchen.”

Sanji laughed, “He can’t cook worth a shit and he’s terrible with people.”

“There’s always dishes to do.”

“I think the idiot can manage that much,” he laughed again, and it was nice to hear him laugh so openly, “So we’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah,” Zeff smiled, “Take care, Eggplant.”

“Try not to singe your eyebrows off, Shit Geezer.”

Zeff stared at the phone as the line went dead. Sanj’s boyfriend. He was going to meet Sanji’s boyfriend. Sanji was dating some punk name Zoro.

No, he shook his head, if the Eggplant like him he should give him a chance.

Sure Sanji didn’t have the best track record when it came to relationships. He always gave a little too much of himself to others, gave too many second chances to people who didn’t deserve them, gave and gave and gave and received almost nothing in return.

But maybe this Zoro was different. Maybe Zoro would actually be a good match for his little Eggplant.

Or maybe he’d be the next in the long line of people who weren’t good enough for Sanji.

But either way, he wouldn’t know until he met him.

He sauntered out of the office and put the phone back in its charging cradle. As he walked through the kitchen, Patty asked, “So what did the little shit want?”

“He’s bringing his boyfriend for Christmas,” Zeff said.

All worked in the kitchen paused, the noise coming to a sudden and eerie silence before everyone exploded with their comments.

“A guy? Seriously, Sanji’s bringing a guy?”

“We’ve known he was bi since he was twelve, why the fuck are so surprised!”

“There’s a difference between knowing Sanji’s into dudes and him bringing a dude here!”

“Sanji’s taste in men is so bad. He’s definitely a criminal.”

“Do you think it’s that one waiter from the summer? I always thought they had a thing.”

“-Probably a drug dealer-”

“-I can’t believe Sanji likes _anyone_ enough to bring them to this dump-”

“Whatever happened to what’s her name? You know, the blonde?”

“Didn’t she ditch him for her asshole ex?”

“Oh yeah…”

“-Operates a meth lab or something-”

“-Is he like, a real person though? Or is Sanji just making shit up again-”

“-I can’t believe anyone likes Sanji enough to put up with his shit-”

“-I’m glad I always thought he’d end up alone...”

“-Serial killer. Definitely a serial killer.”

“-Like anyone is really good enough for-”

“Enough!” Zeff barked at the gossiping chefs, “Get back to work!”

“Yes, Head Chef!” they shouted in unison as they went back to cooking.

Zeff grabbed some onions out of the walk-in and started chopping, trying not to think the worst about Sanji’s boyfriend but failing miserably.

* * *

“This is Zoro Roronoa,” Sanji said, and needlessly added, “My boyfriend.”

_Punk,_ cried all of Zeff’s instincts.

But Zeff had agreed to give him a chance, and that meant not immediately dismissing him. So he gave him a once over.

Green hair, triple ear piercings, a scowl that showed a general disinterest for the rest of the world, and were those combat boots?

Punk, Zeff decided. Absolute punk.

His eyes darted over to the kitchen door where the entire kitchen staff was not-so-subtlety pressing their faces up against the door, waiting to see what would happen.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Zoro said as he extended his hand, scowl still carved onto his face.

Zeff’s eyes narrowed as he shook his hand, “Yeah.”

He had a strong, commanding grip, not so hard to be challenging or threatening, but solid enough to exude confidence. Zeff might have even liked him if it weren’t for that fact that he was dating his son.

“So,” Zeff crossed his arms in front of him and stared him down. Zoro stared back, not backing down even an inch, and he had to at least respect that, “You ever do hard time?”

“Oh my fucking god, can you be normal for like five shitty seconds?” Sanji groaned as he grabbed Zoro’s hand and dragged him towards the stairs, “We’re gonna go get settled.”

“Remember the walls are paper thin up there,” Patty barked after him from the kitchen as they started climbing up the stairs, “And your room is smack above the dining room.”

“Yeah,” Carne added, “We don’t want a repeat of the Great Fuckfest of 2015.”

Sanji poked his scowling red face back down the stairs, flipped them all off, then continued on his way.

The chefs cackled as they filed back into the kitchen. Even with Sanji’s help, there was still too much to do and too little time.

“Sanji seems happy,” Carne said as he got back to his station.

Zeff grunted in response, eyes darting towards the ceiling where he knew Sanji’s room was.

Of course the Eggplant seemed happy. He always seemed happy. It was whether this punk was up to the task of keeping him so that remained to be seen.

After they were still gone after about twenty minutes, Zeff went upstairs himself to fetch Sanji. His door was open a crack, and as he raised a fist to knock he heard Zoro say, “I don’t think he likes me.”

“He’s a crusty old man,” Sanji replied, and Zeff huffed from behind the door, “He doesn’t like anyone.”

“He wouldn’t stop glaring at me.”

Sanji laughed, “Yeah, he does that.” The bed creaked, and he continued, “You don’t have to like him, and he doesn’t have to like you. But I would appreciate it if you could try and get along.”

“Tell him, not me,” he could practically hear his eyes roll. Punk, “I’m trying to be civil.”

“Try harder,” he paused, then sighed, “Zeff and I don’t have the best or the easiest relationship, but he’s always been there for me. Even when I had nothing, I always had him. So it would mean a lot to me if you could at least tolerate each other.”

A groan, then, “Fine, I’ll try. For you.”

“Thank you.”

Zeff peeked inside and saw Sanji lean forward and kiss Zoro squarely on the lips. Zoro closed his eyes and kissed him back, one of his hands sliding around his waist as his other hand came up to cradle his face.

Zeff stepped away from the door and made his way back downstairs.

He could give them a few more minutes.

* * *

Sanji and Zoro strode into the kitchen about an hour later, hair a bit mussed up but otherwise looking no worse for the wear. 

“So,” Sanji said, releasing Zoro’s hand as he grabbed an apron instead, “What do you need?”

“We need the Lobster Bisque for tonight,” Zeff replied, not even bothering to look up from his chopping, knowing that Sanji would already be moving before the words finished leaving his mouth.

Zoro lingered in the doorway for a bit before asking, “What do you need me to do?”

Zeff did look up at that, “You volunteering for something?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “It was made perfectly clear to me that I’d have to help out,” he shot a quick look to Sanji, who smirked and ignored him, “And I hate sitting around and doing nothing.”

Zeff nodded to the large sink off to the side, where dirty dishes were already starting to pile up, “Get started on those.”

Dishes were one of the more disgusting and menial tasks in the entire restaurant. He expected someone with Zoro’s haughty demeanor to scoff and ask for a real task, but instead he simply nodded, rolled up his sleeves, and got to work.

The work and bustle in the kitchen continued as normal, with the chefs throwing barbed insults at each other as they worked and Zeff barked orders over it all.

“You got a clean spoon over there, Marimo?” Sanji shouted as he put the last of the ingredients for the bisque in the pot.

“You got a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’ for me?” Zoro said as he dug through the soapy water for the utensil.

“How about a ‘give me a fucking spoon or I’ll kick your shitty skull in?’” he called back.

“Tsk tsk, Cook,” Zoro grinned as he dried off a large metal spoon, “For someone always going off about manners, yours sure are shit.”

Sanji walked over and jammed his knee hard into his side, “Give me a shitty spoon _please_ before I kick your ass in front of the entire staff.”

Zoro huffed and looked over at him, challenge in his eyes as he offered him the spoon, “Like you even could.”

Sanji grinned back as he took it, fingers lingering over his for an extra moment.

“If you two are done flirting,” Patty shouted from across the kitchen, “Care to get back to work? We still have a lot of shit to do.”

Zoro turned back to his dishes as Sanji stalked back to his station, making sure to flip Patty off as he went.

The cooking continued at a steady pace, and Zeff found himself paying closer attention to Sanji and Zoro. They bickered more than any two people in the kitchen, constantly exchanging jabs and insults with each other, and even resorted to light shoves and kicks on more than one occasion. Despite that, he noticed that Sanji was drifting more towards wherever Zoro was, finding excuses to go over to the dish area. Zoro was doing it too, almost making it his mission to be in Sanji’s space. 

And, while it was nice to see, it meant Sanji wasn’t getting what he needed done.

“Hey, Lettuce Head,” Zeff shouted. Zoro frowned and looked up as he nodded towards the dining room and continued, “Go help the bussers for a bit.”

“Sure,” he dried his hands off with a towel and went out to the dining room.

“Soup’s done,” Sanji said shortly after he left. He turned the burner to the lowest setting and put the top on the pot.

“Then come chop up some parsley,” Zeff grumbled as he came over and set up a cutting board next to him.

They did their work in silence for a while before Zeff said, “So. Zoro, huh?”

Sanji’s cheeks went red as he avoided his gaze, “…Yeah.”

“Where’d you dig him up?” Patty asked.

Sanji shrugged, “We have all the same friends.”

“That makes sense,” Carne added, “Your friends were always weird.”

“My friends aren’t any weirder than you assholes!” he snapped.

“Is he an axe murderer?” One of the other chefs chimed in, “’Cause he’s got that axe murderer energy.”

“What? No!” Sanji balked, “He hasn’t killed anyone as far as I know. Besides, he prefers swords.”

“A sword murderer,” he nodded, “Got it.”

“He doesn’t murder people!” Sanji rubbed his eyes, “I know he’s a little intense, but he’s actually really caring underneath it all.”

“Yeah that makes sense,” another chef said, “He’s got that dangerous bad boy vibe that’s always been your type.”

“I don’t have a _type_ ,” Sanji snarled.

“Sanji likes good girls and bad boys,” the chef stated as if it was fact, “That’s one of those laws as old as the universe.”

“’Cept all those so-called ‘good girls’ you’ve brought home have turned out to be shits,” another chef said, “So maybe Zoro’s actually a good guy underneath it all.”

“He is a good guy!” Sanji barked at him, “I know he’s not what you’d expect me to end up with, but that’s just who Zoro is. He’s constantly defying expectations, and keeping me on my toes. He’s like a challenge and an enigma wrapped into one enticing package and I…”

He stopped cutting at trailed off, staring absentmindedly down at his pile of perfectly chopped parsley. Zeff glanced over at him and saw him wearing that dopey love-struck grin that always made him look ten years younger.

“You really like him, huh?” Patty asked.

“He is the most frustrating man I’ve ever met,” Sanji answered as he began chopping again, “Of course I like him.”

“I think you look good together,” another chef added, “It’s about time you found someone who could put up with your shit.”

“That’s all love is,” Carne said, “Putting up with each other’s shit for all eternity. If you found that with Zoro, then good for you.”

“Even if he does look like he’d kill without hesitation,” Patty mumbled.

“Well, yeah,” Carne shrugged, “But would Sanji have ‘em any other way?”

“Fuck all of you,” Sanji growled, eyes darting quickly to Zeff before looking away again, “I don’t need your approval.”

Zeff looked at Sanji. He had misgivings about Zoro, but he always had misgivings about Sanji’s partners. There was only one thing that really mattered here, “Are you happy?”

Sanji looked at him, “Yeah, I’m happy.”

“Do you love him?”

Sanji blushed again and stuttered, “Shut the fuck up, Shit Geezer.”

That was a yes.

He nodded and went back to cooking, “Alright then.”

* * *

Zeff cornered Zoro in the stairwell just before the dinner rush.

“Is this the speech?” Zoro said almost lazily, “Is this where you tell me not to break his heart or you’ll kick my ass?”

Zeff crossed his arms and stared at him. Zoro, for his part, stared right back.

After thus staring contest continued for a few good moments, Zoro sighed and said, “Just get it over with already.”

Zeff narrowed his eyes, “What makes you think you’re good enough for my son?”

“I’m not.”

The answer shocked Zeff, but did his best not to let it show on his face.

“No one is,” he shrugged like it was obvious. And it was, to Zeff at least, but hearing it from one of the Eggplant’s partners was a nice change of pace, “But for some reason he wants me, and that makes me the luckiest person on the face of the planet. He is somehow the most perfect and most infuriating person I’ve ever met in my goddamn life. He gives too much of himself to other people. All I can really do is try my best to give just as much back to him. ”

Zeff stared at him for a solid minute before he nodded and said, “Okay.”

“That’s,” Zoro blinked, “That’s it? No threats or anything?”

“You planning on breaking his heart?”

“No.”

“Then we don’t have a problem,” he clapped a hand on his shoulder, “I want what I’ve always wanted for Sanji, for him to be happy. And it seems like you’re doing that just fine.” He smacked his shoulder again for good measure, “And if you do break his heart, well, I’ll be the least of your worries.”

Zoro laughed, “Yeah, I know.”

“Good,” he nodded towards the kitchen, “Now table five needs bread, so go make yourself useful and tell the kitchen.”

Zoro nodded and ran off towards the dining room.

“Kitchen’s the other way.”

He turned around and walked off in the other direction, “I knew that.”

Zoro walked through the doors, and Zeff caught a glimpse of Sanji’s smile lighting up as the doors slammed shut behind him.

Letting Sanji go was never easy. Trusting someone else to take care of him was even harder. But he knew he had to trust Sanji with his own heart, and it seemed that, for once, Sanji had given it to someone who would look after it properly.

* * *

With the Baratie closed for the night, the staff wound down with a party of their own, enjoying the leftovers of all their hard work. By midnight, most of the staff was in various states of drunk and passed out, but there were enough of them still awake and aware.

Zeff sat at one of the tables with Patty and Carne, nursing his own drink. Across the room he could see Sanji and Zoro dancing to the Christmas music one of the waiters had insisted on blasting through the speakers. It wasn’t quite going smoothly, as Zoro was struggling to keep rhythm with Sanji.

“Fucker’s got two left feet,” Patty said.

“That’s the third time I’ve seen him step on his toes,” Carne remarked.

Zoro frowned and turned to walk away, but Sanji tugged him back into his arms. He moved Zoro’s hand to his shoulder, placed his own hand on Zoro’s waist, and gently put their free hands together. From there, he slowly guided Zoro around in a circle.

“Finally,” Patty scoffed.

“Sanji shoulda led from the beginning,” Carne said.

Zeff grunted and took a sip from his drink.

Even from a distance, Sanji’s smile was clear. His whole face was softer for it, making him and the room around him glow even brighter. When they turned, he saw a similar smile echoed on Zoro’s face, and he stared at him like he was the only person in the world who mattered.

Sanji leaned forward and whispered something in Zoro’s ear that made him laugh, his eyes crinkling slightly as his smile grew. As he pulled away, Zoro moved in and kissed him, quick but sure. Sanji stood frozen in surprise for a moment before he smiled and kissed him back.

“PDA, blech,” Carne said as they looked away.

“So this Zoro guy,” Patty said as he took a swig of his drink, “Do we like him or what?”

Zeff glanced back at the couple. They weren’t dancing anymore as much as just swaying in place, leaning their foreheads against each other, grinning like idiots in love which, Zeff conceded, they were.

“Yeah,” Zeff answered as Sanji’s grin grew wider at something Zoro said, “We like him.”


End file.
